[Note from Jack – As you may know, Joel Wade has been a life-time friend ever since he saved my life rescuing me off a cliff in Tibet in 1987. Every person in our family – and many of our close friends in TTP have done coaching sessions with Joel — which is really just a conversation. I can recommend him with complete confidence and certainty.
Joel is one of the easiest people to talk with because he is relaxed, friendly, warm, and naturally sees the best in people. He knows that everyone sometimes wishes they had someone to just listen to them and that is one of his super powers.
He can give feedback or suggestions on how to be happier, more confident, and communicate better with those around them. He’ll have insights on how you can feel less stressed and more relaxed. He is consistently kind and wise.
You can have a one-time conversation with him to connect and then later reach out when there’s an issue, goal, problem or any matter you want to discuss. He is happily married for many decades, a father of two wonderful grown children, and multiple World Champion water polo goalie.
Joel has been writing his Virtue of Happiness column since TTP’s inception back in 2003. This is one of his very best.]
We each have to master ourselves, our own emotions, impulses, willpower, and consciousness. This doesn’t just happen for us, and cannot be done for us by somebody else; it’s an active, deliberate activity. This need doesn’t represent psychological trouble; it’s part of the normal challenge of being human.
Think about it: if we don’t eat right, or exercise, our health will suffer; if we don’t read, or study, or challenge our minds, our intellect will suffer.
Why would it be different for our psychological and emotional health? If we don’t strive to understand and master our emotions and impulses, our emotional and psychological life will suffer.
It’s normal and healthy to have to work at and master our emotions and thoughts; to bring conscious awareness and effort to what’s true about our unique internal experience, and to channel that mastery to strive toward meaningful goals.
To heal and strengthen ourselves, we need to search for the very best within us: our innate strengths and goodness, the positive people and experiences that nurtured and challenged us, and the strength of character and wisdom that we’ve earned through our own efforts over the years.
I’ve been working with people for over 40 years, as a marriage and family therapist, teacher, and life coach, to overcome challenges and bring the best they have to their lives. When I work to help a client or clients who are determined to make a better life, or a better relationship for themselves, or to face a daunting task with the best they have to offer, I know that I am experiencing an act of courage.
This is what inspires me more than anything; it’s why I do what I do. Whether it’s an athlete aiming to perform at his or her absolute best, or someone striving to reach an important goal though it frightens them tremendously, or someone who has felt helpless and depressed but has committed to pulling themselves up and out of their depression.
Or someone struggling to break free of an addiction, or a couple who have hurt each other and allowed bad habits and reactions to harm their trust and love, but who are determined to make a loving relationship that works… the expression of the human spirit is the same:
It’s the heroic spirit; it’s our human will feeling the pull of probability, the seduction of bad habits or powerful impulses, but instead directing ourselves in a different, more conscious, more creative, more effective, and more human course of action.
You know what this feels like: Think of yourself at your very best. Think of what you’re most proud of in your life. Chances are it will have required qualities such as commitment, courage, and perseverance. Most important, it was likely something that you decided to do.
This quality of self-ownership is the best of humanity. For me, it’s the most inspiring and moving quality that an individual can express.
That I get to help people to possess and master this quality in themselves is a tremendous honor, and an exhilarating adventure.
The healing premise that I hold is that we should look to elicit the very best within ourselves, and within each other, to find the strength, the resources, and the wherewithal to face and triumph over life’s challenges – internal and external.
If this resonates with you, if you’re interested in growing these qualities in yourself, in overcoming the obstacles to your good life, in improving your happiness, your relationships, and your sense of personal mastery, please contact me today for a free initial session, to see if your own personal life coaching or therapy with me would be helpful to you. I work with people all over the world through phone or video.
I’d be honored and delighted to help you find and bring forth the very best you have within yourself. Click here to sign up for a free introductory consultation.
Joel F. Wade, Ph.D., is the author of The Virtue of Happiness, Mastering Happiness, and his new book, Mastering Emotions, Moods and Reactions. He is a marriage and family therapist and life coach who works with people around the world via phone and video. Joel saved Jack’s life in Tibet in 1987 by rescuing him off a collapsing cliff. They’ve been life-long friends ever since.
